Irked Around

I'm in Jersey at the moment, which is nice, but a few things over the last 24 hours have me steamed. In chronological order:

1) Metro. Fucking Metro. Every time. Of course I was running late for my train yesterday. And, of course, I get to Dupont and find that the next train (in 7 minutes) was a ghost train and that the next train serving passengers was in 16 minutes. Due to the fact that my Amtrak train was leaving in 35 minutes, I had to high-tail it out of the station and hop a cab. Bah.

2) Really? You're on a train -- admittedly not the quiet car -- and you're watching a DVD on your computer without headphones? Seriously?! Have we all gone insane? Would you listen to a stereo on the train? No, you wouldn't. Then again, you're clearly an asshole, so who knows?

3) As if I didn't have enough evidence that America is a lost cause: Melinda Doolittle was voted off of American Idol last night. She was inarguably the best singer in the competition and, again without question, one of the best singers in the show's history. Melinda is off of Idol. What's the point anymore? You know what? Let's just bomb Iran. Let's just end times. (Ok, fine, maybe I'm overreacting just a tad.)

4) I went to my dentist this morning. My checkups for the last, oh, ten years or so have been just peachy. Today, I got yelled at for not flossing. Luckily, I'm still cavity-free, but I apparently had plaque build-up that worried him. Then he told me that my Sonicare toothbrush is a piece of shit that I should throw out. I mean, he was nice about it, but I felt a bit berated.

5) I'm in Panera right now and it's packed. I hate people.

Thumpin' Thursday

I know that there's usually a theme -- or at least some semblance of narrative coherence -- to most of my posts, but I don't have the energy for that at the moment and I have a number of small things I want to discuss. Please indulge me and allow for the following disjointed list:

1) The biggest thing going on right now is that I've decided to return to my roots. After a brief stint as a in-house attorney at a large nonprofit, I chose today to take a new job. The choice to return to direct legal services was a surprisingly easy one, but the choice of how to return was a significantly more difficult endeavor. I had to choose between a familiar and spectacular opportunity and something new, and in the end I felt that, as a young lawyer, I needed to take a risk and expand my fount of experience. I'll be starting at Legal Aid sometime in May and I'm more excited than I've been in a long time.

2) After being able to avoid American Idol for a bunch of seasons, I am now officially hooked. Last night's "Idol Gives Back" episode was an emotional rollercoaster. Still, the thing I appreciated most was that a show that gets more eyeballs than any newspaper in America actually drew attention to: (a) the genocidal effect of AIDS in Africa; (b) the pervasive illiteracy in Appalachia; (c) the unavoidable violence in our inner cities; (d) the mindboggling unecessary deaths to malaria in Africa; and (e) the absolute mess that is New Orleans. On top of that, they raised (by early accounts) SIXTY MILLION DOLLARS for programs to combat the above tragedies. Say what you will about American Idol, but in one two-night event Ryan Seacrest probably raised more awareness of poverty (if not money to fight it) than our government has done in the last six years.

3) Tonight's Dem debate was off the meter. My initial thoughts, in a sub-list:
(a) I think the three candidates that came off best were (and I'm almost a little shocked to say this): Joe Biden, Chris Dodd, and Hillary Clinton.
(b) I was struck at how ill-at-ease Barack Obama appeared to be. He had some decent moments, but the worst was when he allowed himself to get pulled into the nonsense Kucinich was spewing. Kucinich is considered a 6th tier candidate, Barry. What were you thinking? There's a reason the rest of the panel (even nutty, nutty Mike Gravel) ignored him.
(c) Gravel. I mean, I don't really even know what to say. He makes McCain look like the textbook definition of sanity. My favorite quote: "Who are you going to nuke, Barack?! WHO ARE YOU GOING TO NUKE!?!?"
(d) Bill Richardson was trying to do his best impression of a "Conservative Democrat." Somehow, I didn't care. Also, I really don't appreciate when people don't follow the rules of a debate. You were asked about Cuba, douchey, don't talk to me about Iraq.
(e) Speaking of not caring, Edwards? I've never seen someone so hot come off as so freakin' bland. And the chasm of silence that met the "moral leader" question was embarassing.
(f) And, finally, Brian Williams is entirely too much of a lightweight to moderate a debate like this. Shit was completely out of control.

4) There is no number 4. There is no Miss Zarves. (Anyone? Anyone?!?!)

Oh crap.

As I was walking home from the metro tonight, I got stood up on dinner plans. (Dinner plans, I might add, on account of which I turned down other dinner plans. But I'm not bitter.) So I got home, thought about how unseasonably cold it was outside, and called Pizza Movers. I could have had a wonderful pepperoni-filled evening, perhaps watched a movie or something, but then I made one terrible miscalculation: I turned on my television. I never really watch TV on Tuesdays. None of my mainstays (which, as you probably know by now, are Heroes, Lost, Ugly Betty, Grey's, The Office, Scrubs, 30 Rock, Sopranos, and Amazing Race...damn, I watch a lot of TV) air on Tuesdays, so I figured I'd probably watch something on Comedy Central or HBO. Then I saw it. I, of course, knew what it was. I'd actually watched, way back in the second season, but never again. I had avoided it on purpose, really. I knew what terrible effect it could have on me. But, for some reason, I highlighted it on my program guide and pressed ENTER. Then it was there. On my TV. And I couldn't look away.

Tonight, I watched my first episode of this season's American Idol.

It was already in progress, so I missed the first guy. Instead, I saw a woman named Jordin Sparks perform. I have to admit, she was pretty great. Really nice voice. And I like her look, too. She reminds me of Callie from Grey's. The judges dug her, too, which was nice. While I was pleased, I wasn't quite snared yet so I grabbed my remote and was about to turn it off when Ryan Seacrest announced that Sanjaya would be on next. Now, I think that almost everyone, even people who don't watch this show, have heard of Sanjaya. I was intrigued. Ok, I thought to myself. I'll see just how terrible this kid really is, and then I'll change the channel.

Well, I saw just how terrible he really was. Emphasis on the words "really" and "terrible." I can't claim to be a pop star or even to have perfect pitch, but I did enough singing in my day to know when someone is really off key. Wow. Sanjaya seems like a totally nice kid, but the sweet child is tone deaf. Randy said it sounded like karaoke, but he was only partly correct. That sounded like bad karaoke. The type of bad karaoke that happens after a few too many shots. A few too many shots and a bad childhood accident.

Next up were Lakisha and one of the white guys. Crap. What is his name? Chris! Right. Ok, so those two went. She was fine (but nowhere as good as Jordin) and he was pretty bad (but not as bad as Sanjaya). Then Ryan announced Melinda Doolittle. Even though I don't watch the show, I read enough entertainment blogs and EW to know that this little woman was supposed to be the one to beat (sad for her, really, because the one to beat rarely actually wins). By this point, I was pretty much committed to the broadcast so I was excited that I might get to hear someone really good.

And I was very pleased. This Melinda Doolittle is the real deal. I mean, she really should do something with the hair -- either longer extensions or a really short cut...the current style makes her seem a bit neckless -- but her voice is ridiculous. When it ended, I was confused why she was even palling around with these other jokers (with the exception, perhaps, of Jordin). I grabbed a post-it off my desk and jotted down her number (1-866-436-5706) and then counted back to figure out Jordin's number (-5702...for the uninitiated, the final digit is the order in which they sing). Ok. Idol had me. I wasn't going to fight it, so I eagerly fast-forwarded my DVR (I had paused the show to get my pizza) through the commercial. And then, HE came on. The other white guy. And he was blond and wore an argyle sweater and sang much better than the other two guys. And anyone who knows me knows what happened next.

I've been dialing 1-866-436-5707 on redial for the last 40 minutes. I also have new wallpaper on my computer. And I am only a little ashamed.