There's no place like home.

After a period of angst earlier in the summer, I recently found myself becoming more peaceful about my existence. I'm an attorney at a great organization, doing the sort of work I imagined myself doing when I applied to law school. I'm teaching again -- albeit this time at a law school. My angsty thoughts of the past few months are beginning to coalesce into a solid plan for the future. And certainly not least, I'm living with one of the most spectacular people on earth in an apartment that we've both come to love. Obviously something was bound to go awry.

Then our landlord told us that he wants to sell our apartment. Natch.

First, the obvious issue: We'll probably have to move. In DC, it's actually quite hard to evict a tenant, but personal use and occupancy is a legitimate reason to have someone vacate. From when notice is given, tenants have 90 days to vacate. If they do not, the landlord can sue them in landlord-tenant court. I guess it would be an interesting experience in learning what it's like to be one of my clients. Bah. Although we were committed to being in this apartment at least through May, that may very well not be an option.

Also annoying is what comes with a landlord's desire to sell. We got a phone call tonight from the realtor. She wants to come and take pictures of the apartment. She wants to come up with a schedule to show the apartment. She prefers that we not be here when she's showing it. We prefer not to care so much about what she prefers. If she thinks she's rolling in here on the weekend, she'd best be ready to find us splayed out on our lovely couch. And, although I plan to perhaps avoid one of my standard clothes explosions, I am not going to go super out of my way to make the apartment look like the Bluth model home. (Although, I'd happily allow my landlord to get us a cleaning lady.)

All this nonsense leaves us in a bit of a quandary. Do we just hang tight, put up with the realtor, and carry on until the magic moment when this place sells? Or do we take on the unhappy task of finding a new place now and perhaps control our destiny just a tiny bit more? And then, regardless, do we try to find another 2 bedroom/2 bath that we can afford? Or do we try to capitalize on the moment and perhaps suck it up for a little bit and live with a few others in a larger space? If I really have to move, I wouldn't hate paying less rent.

In the meantime, we've been brainstorming how to make our apartment as unappetizing as possible. First, I think we should leave the blinds all the way up. Show prospective buyers the beautiful, street-level W Street view. Second, I think it's very important to put out as much gay porn as possible. Finally, we're looking for a tasteful photographer. After a lot of discussion, we decided that it would be awesome to superimpose twin images of our naked crotches from below. Then we'd blow it up and hang it over the couch.

If we have to leave, at least we'll leave with our pride intact.