Swiss Mister

While chatting with Victor over Gtalk (his insomnia meshes well with my 10.5 hour time difference), the topic of how foreigners perceive Americans came up. I immediately thought back to Clement, our Swiss friend at the sketchy bar from Friday night. I've been really conscious of the white people (note: I've also seen a handful of African and East [why did no one mention that this said EASY Asian tourists for a few days? Is no one reading?] Asian tourists around, but not many) I encounter in this country. I suppose this might be a byproduct of this being my first trip to a country where I'm a racial minority. Whenever I spot a white person, I mumble, "Hello white woman/man!" under my breath. This amuses my friends. Anyway, on Friday, when Clement (which looks less sexy on screen than it sounded when he said, "Cleh-MONT," so let's call him Hottie McGenevapants - or HMcG - for the remainder of this post) walked into the random bar looking a bit lost, Dennis and I took pity on him and called him over.

After making it clear that, while he spoke French, he was Swiss not French, we spoke at length about Americans and Europeans. He started off rather diplomatically by pointing out that Americans aren't well traveled. He was clearly prepared for this conversation and whipped out a statistic that only 20% of Americans have a passport (haven't fact-checked it, but I'm not surprised...almost sounds a bit high). As he loosened up a bit (big bottles of Kingfisher will do that to you), he started telling us about some of the stupid Americans he encountered on his travels including, if I got his Frenglish correct, a group that he convinced to jump into the Mekong River. (He quickly informed us that we were not stupid Americans, but that rarest breed: "Good Americans.") He also said that many Europeans didn't understand how we could have elected such a bad president. I told him that I wondered the same thing. Dennis and I did our best to explain that our country was quite large and that many people (particularly from the center) didn't really consider things on a global scale. Interestingly enough, HMcG countered that the government should enable people to travel abroad more. He spoke at length of how, in his country, everyone has a place to live and everyone can go to the doctor whenever necessary. He admitted freely that freeloaders (mostly characterized as alcoholics and drug addicts by HMcG) did happen, but the benefit to the entire nation made it worth it. I guess avoiding HMO co-pays probably would free up some dough for vacations.

More interesting than his thoughts on Americans (which, let's face it, aren't terribly surprising) was his assessment of other Europeans. Paraphrasing him: "So I am Swiss. And the Swiss don't like the Germans. And the Germans don't like the Italians. And the Italians don't like the Swiss. And no one likes the French because they are arrogant. But, we all like each other anyway because we are all European." In other words, a crappy neighbor will beat out an out-of-towner any day. (The evil you know?) Apparently, non-Europeans prefer Euros over Americans as well. At Bombay's hyper-exclusive Privee' on Sunday, I was chatting up an Indian woman of perhaps my age or a few years older. She knew I was American. In our conversation, her trips to Europe came up and I mentioned that I spent all my summers in Italy growing up. When she inquired further, I explained my Italian parents and upbringing and she was suddenly thrilled. She pointed out that I was practically European and explained to me that while there's "nothing wrong" with Americans, Europeans are just "so much more cultured." When I asked her to expound on that, she pointed to the richness of history in Europe and the opportunities to travel the continent.

What have I learned from my admittedly meager interactions with foreigners? Well, it seems that stereotypes of Americans are alive and well. It seems like we need to get out more as a nation. When we do travel, we have to resist letting attractive Swiss men (mmm...HMcG...) convince us to jump into Asian rivers. We need to elect a president that isn't internationally considered, at best, a joke and, at worst, a dangerous influence on global politics. Finally, I would say, those of us who DO travel need to remind the world, diplomatically and with the utmost respect, that Americans can be cultured, polite, worldly, and intelligent. So get on it, people. Book a trip and start dismantling the "stupid American" stereotype. But don't worry about Southeast Asia. I've got a crack team of American intellectuals on it starting next week.

Unless we end up like Claire Danes in Brokedown Palace ("[Bangs hand against cell bars.] I didn't do it!"). In which case, you all have an excuse to take a trip to the region!