Reality Bites

Rather than think about the fact that I'm back in NJ and that I need health insurance and a job and a number of other things, I prefer to reminisce about my wonderful trip. I promised a run-down on my last night in Bangkok, so here it is....

First off, I put the kibosh on a little trip romance that was getting a bit too weird. I mean, I've got 24 hours left in Bangkok and have expressed a need to hang with my close friend who lives there and you go and get all clingy and demand I spend the day with you? Oh. Hell. No. You were a Siem Reap hook up that was lucky enough to see me again in Bangkok. Cherish the moment. Now leave.

Sorry for the digression. Back now.

So, a newly free man, I met up with Chris on the SkyTrain platform and headed for the glitz and glamour of the State Tower. The building is a weird, high-rise mishmash of arches and domes but, from the restaurant/bar at the very top, there are some truly spectacular views of Bangkok. We just missed the sunset (my fault, of course) but it was still pretty awe-inspiring stuff. After a single drink -- as expensive as you'd expect -- we made our way across town to Chris's apartment, snagged John at the SkyTrain station, and arrived to Limoncello.

Now, you're probably asking yourself why we were eating at an Italian restaurant, of all places, on my last night in SE Asia. The truth is, I chose it. Presented with the option of Thai (not again!), Mexican (just this side of "too weird" in my opinion), and "the best pizza in Bangkok," I couldn't resist. It seemed strangely appropriate that I use my last meal abroad as a bridge back to my world. And, I have to say, the pizza was actually quite good. Definitely better than a lot of the pizza I've forced down in the Washington, DC area.

After that, Chris, John, and I headed for Silom Soi 4 for some drinks. The initial plan had us throwing back a couple on the main gay strip of Bangkok and then following things up with some upscale partying at a nicer spot like the oft-mentioned (and yet never visited) Bed Supper Club. But how often are initial plans ever followed to their end? I had a feeling things wouldn't go as planned as soon as I saw a large, blackboard placard advertising the Miss Silom Soi 4 Pageant. I immediately texted the lovely Dutch girls that I'd met the day before -- Floor and Marelde -- and told them to get their little Dutch booties over to Silom Soi 4 as fast as they could. (The poor dears had been taken for a ride -- quite literally -- by some unscrupulous tuk-tuk drivers, so I had to coach them through the correct way to hop a taxi in Bangkok: (1) Always flag one down, never take one waiting; (2) Never get in a taxi that won't use the meter; (3) Hand gestures are the best way to express numbers.) Before you know it, Chris, John, Marelde, Floor, and I are sitting back and enjoying a transsexual beauty contest being held right on the street. From front row seats.

Soon enough, hardworking John decided to head home. The four of us remaining threw ourselves into cheering for the unfortunately-numbered contestant #13. She was absolutely stunning. Nothing about her betrayed her birth gender. She was graceful and gorgeous and gracious enough to pose for pictures (to be posted as soon as Floor e-mails them to me). Luckily, we weren't so entranced with the competition that we missed three, very attractive young men making their way tentatively down the road. Knowing that most of the people who wandered down this way by mistake had turned around shortly after passing our bar (the street got pretty dead and empty), I conspired with Marelde to get the boys to join us for a drink. I have to hand it to the girl, she's both strikingly beautiful and incredibly charming. Before I knew what was happening, an adorable French med student named Mathieu had parked himself to my right. Woo!

The night continued in a blur of drinks, beauty pageant smiles, and French-accented English until, much to our pleasure, contestand #13 was crowned Miss Silom Soi 4! We celebrated by ordering one last drink (damn last call!) and then pondered what to do next. Luckily, in the meantime, Floor snapped a few pictures of me and the boys (also to be included as soon as I get them) so that I have a visual guide against which I can measure all future mates. Sigh.

Chris pointed out that our only real option was karaoke. The girls were all for it, but the Frenchies opted out. I was sad, but I understood. They had, after all, only been in Bangkok for 24 hours and had already been taken in by a scam artist. (FYI, if someone in Thailand offers to sell you heavily discounted gems, please please please don't buy them.) Undeterred, Floor, Marelde, Chris, and I headed down the block to the karaoke bar.

As it was the night at the very beginning of my adventure, the bar was practically empty. By the time our drinks were delivered to our table, the four of us were the only people in sight. As a result, we karaoked nearly non-stop for about an hour. The crowning moment? Chris and I (with the girls on backup) performing, IN THAI, Ice Saranyu's "Kon Jai Ngai." (At least, that's how my iTunes translated the Thai from the CD I bought.) I had heard this song at the very beginning of my voyage and fell totally in love. Earlier in the day, I had purchased it (for only 155 baht) at a music store and listened to it at John's all afternoon. I can't imagine a more perfect end to my trip than performing it with Chris and my two fabulous Dutch women. Woo, indeed. I'm listening to the song on repeat right now. I can't help but smile at the memories of that crazy last night -- not to mention the memories of a crazy, spectacular trip.

Double sigh. And now excuse me while I go and decide between Blue Cross and Kaiser Permanente.